Divorce is hard for anyone. But for service members, it comes with an extra layer of challenges that most people never have to think about. Federal laws, military benefits, deployment schedules, and pension rules all play a role—and getting any one of them wrong can have lasting consequences. Knowing what to watch out for before you start can help you protect what matters most.
If you are a service member facing divorce and need guidance right now, do not wait to reach out. Fill out our online contact form or call us at (210) 361-6990 to speak with our team today.
Why Military Divorce Is Different from a Civilian Divorce
A military divorce follows many of the same steps as a civilian one, but it also involves federal laws and rules that only apply to service members. These added layers can make the process more complicated than people expect. Understanding those differences from the beginning gives you a stronger foundation for the road ahead.
For example, where you file for divorce may depend on where you are stationed, where your spouse lives, or where you claim legal residency—called your "domicile." Service members who have moved frequently often run into confusion about this. Talking to a knowledgeable attorney early on can help you file in the right place and avoid unnecessary delays.
Mistake 1: Not Knowing Your Rights Under the SCRA
The Servicemembers Civil Relief Act—commonly called the SCRA—is a federal law designed to protect active-duty military members in legal proceedings, including divorce. One of its most important protections is the right to ask a court to pause, or "stay," your divorce case if your military duties prevent you from participating. Many service members do not know this right exists, and they end up at a serious disadvantage.
A stay under the SCRA is not meant to delay the case forever. Courts will only grant one when your duties make it genuinely impossible to take part. If you are deployed overseas or on a demanding assignment and cannot attend hearings or review legal documents, the SCRA can give you the time you need. Speak with an attorney to understand exactly how and when this protection applies to your situation.
Mistake 2: Overlooking the 10/10 Rule for Military Retirement Pay
Many service members are surprised to learn that their spouse may be entitled to receive a portion of their military retirement pay directly from the government under certain conditions. This is sometimes called the "10/10 rule." It applies when a couple has been married for at least 10 years, while the service member has also completed at least 10 years of creditable military service during that same time. This rule does not decide how much a spouse receives—a court does that—but it does determine how the payment gets made.
Even when the 10/10 rule does not apply, a former spouse may still be awarded a share of your military retirement pay under a law called the Uniformed Services Former Spouses' Protection Act, or USFSPA. Courts in Texas treat military retirement pay as a form of property that can be divided during divorce. Ignoring this rule or assuming it does not apply to you can lead to major financial surprises long after your divorce is finalized.
Mistake 3: Underestimating the Value of Your Military Pension
Your military pension can be one of the largest financial assets in your divorce, yet many service members treat it as secondary to other things like the family home. If you have served long enough to be eligible for retirement pay, a portion of that pension may be subject to division in your divorce settlement. The longer you were married while on active duty, the more of your pension may be at stake.
Unlike a savings account or piece of property, a military pension does not have a simple price tag. Its value is calculated based on your expected retirement income, your years of service, your rank at retirement, and other factors. Agreeing to a settlement without fully understanding your pension's value—or without having it properly reviewed—can leave you significantly worse off for years to come.
Mistake 4: Failing to Plan Ahead for Custody and Deployment
Child custody is often the most emotionally charged part of any divorce. For service members, it is also the most complicated, because deployments and duty assignments can disrupt even the most carefully made plans. Courts in Texas focus on what is in the best interest of the child, and a parenting plan that does not account for military service will often fall short of meeting that standard.
Before finalizing any custody agreement, it is important to think through the what-ifs of military life. Here are some key questions your parenting plan should answer:
- Who will care for your child when you are deployed or on temporary duty?
- How will you stay connected with your child while you are away, such as through scheduled video calls?
- What happens to the custody schedule when you return from a long deployment?
- Does the plan include flexibility for short-notice duty assignments or training?
- How will permanent change of station orders, known as PCS orders, affect where your child lives and goes to school?
A detailed, flexible parenting plan is far better than one that leaves these questions unanswered. Courts tend to look favorably on parents who have clearly thought ahead and put their child's needs first. Working with a family law attorney who understands military life can help you build a plan that actually works.
Mistake 5: Not Accounting for Military Benefits After Divorce
Military life comes with benefits that many families depend on—and divorce can change access to those benefits overnight. A lot of service members and their spouses do not think about these details until after everything is settled, and by then, there is often little room to negotiate. Understanding which benefits may be affected, and for how long, is a key part of reaching a fair agreement.
Some of the most commonly overlooked benefits in a military divorce include:
- TRICARE health coverage: A former spouse may qualify for continued health insurance coverage under what is called the 20/20/20 rule, which requires 20 years of marriage, 20 years of military service, and 20 years of overlap between the two. If the marriage does not meet this threshold, different rules may apply for a transitional period.
- Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH): If you receive a housing allowance or live on base, your housing situation may change significantly after the divorce, and you need a plan for that transition.
- Commissary and exchange access: Former spouses often lose access to on-base shopping privileges after a divorce unless they qualify under specific federal rules.
- Survivor Benefit Plan (SBP): This program is designed to provide continued income to a surviving spouse or dependent after a retiree's death. Decisions about whether a former spouse remains covered under SBP must be addressed during the divorce process—not after.
Discussing all of these benefits with an attorney before you finalize anything can help ensure that nothing important gets overlooked. A thorough review now is much easier than trying to fix mistakes once the divorce is complete.
Mistake 6: Going Through the Process Without Legal Guidance
Some service members try to handle their own divorce to save time or money. But military divorces involve a combination of Texas family law and federal law that is difficult to navigate without help. Missing one step—such as failing to properly divide a pension, overlooking SCRA protections, or leaving a benefit unaddressed—can lead to costly problems that last for years.
Having someone in your corner who understands both the state and federal sides of a military divorce can make a meaningful difference. You dedicate so much to your service. You deserve the same level of care and attention when it comes to protecting your future.
Talk to a San Antonio Divorce Attorney About Your Military Divorce
Going through a military divorce does not have to mean going through it alone. The Knowlton Law Firm is here to help service members in San Antonio understand their rights, make sense of the process, and move forward with clarity and confidence. Whether you have questions about your pension, your custody plan, or your benefits, we are ready to listen and walk you through your options.
Reach out today by filling out our online contact form or by calling (210) 361-6990. Your service matters, and so does your future.